November 25, 2019
In
Boudoir
Denver, Colorado Intimate Portraits | Miss I
“I had been planning all week for our ambassador shoot at the Paint Mines, and the morning had finally come.
I had my usual duffel bag of lingerie packed, makeup applied thick, and plenty-o-caffeine. Driving south, I rehearsed poses in my mind & wondered which lacy thing I’d wear with which silky thing, and so on.
My shoot-day wardrobe is always a bit unorthodox because mostly, you can’t find the extravagant pieces in a size 20.
As we hiked to the first sights of these wildly colorful formations I blurted out in excitement: “NICOLE, I am gonna get butt-ass naked today!”
She rolled her eyes and playfully informed me this is no shock, in her line of work.
We had a big group of women and each so different from the next in shape, personality, and background. I wondered to myself why of all days I decide to finally “take it all off,” I chose the one with most on-lookers…
We worked our way, shutter by shutter to the depth of the canyon, and it was really happening. I kept just a panty on and snuggled a blanket in the shivering wind, while I waited for a turn in front of Nicole’s lens.
As Cherise stood proudly bare, I watched with a growing sense of courage. I can do this shit too… I said to myself, as I slipped off the only piece of clothing hiding her lens from my turbulent relationship with my body.
Swaying and swinging, I stood there naked in front of everyone. No laughing or darting eyes, just plain old nothingness.
Can you believe that?
A fat girl can get absolutely naked, enjoy herself, feeling beautiful and feminine… and no one says a word?!
I laugh through the tears but you must know this— It took two years of courage and practice to get that naked, that vulnerable.
And I did it.
And I survived.
And I’ll do it again.
/end.”
-I
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