Denver, Colorado Intimate Portraits | Celebrating 36
Coming up with a way to start these now-annual posts isn’t easy. I’m awkward and uncomfortable and these last few months have thrown me for a loop, making it even more difficult to organize my thoughts. The loss of Dinosaur hit me like a fucking truck earlier this year and I’m still grieving and expect I will for a while longer; he was such a special soul and, if you’ve met your soul animal already, you know the pain. Then my family had the very unexpected loss of a truly amazing woman, my Aunt Donna. Then the Covid happened. Hell, it’s still happening. And, honestly, the only thing keeping me sane right now is having house projects to keep me busy, embracing time with the kiddos, and miles on the bialahou.
It’s been hard to push myself to really see the good in all of this and see that the tough times are for learning and growing. A lot of this year feels heavy and uncertain and I’ve really been focusing on surrendering because all of these big things are completely out of my control, out of anyone’s control and it does no good to lose sleep over this when I can rest and work on being present and healing.
That said, 35 wasn’t all bad. In fact, most of it was great. It brought me back to Colorado, allowed me to travel to Idaho a few times and foster great new friendships there, log miles on the bialahou, visit France, launch Studio Déshabillée, and spend a lot of time with family I rarely get to see. Yeah, 35 was FULL of family and, I suppose, this weirdness in the world right now, is an extension of that. A reminder that, at the end of the day, what matters most is those we love and those that love us. The rest is just fluff.
After these last few months of challenges, I’m excited for 36 and am working out what and who I want to re-invite into my days when things return to normal. One thing I know for certain is that I’m going to continue to push myself creatively and really consider getting some selfs that include my face and not just my ass.
