Boise, Idaho Intimate Portraits | Alexa’s Year
It’s hard to believe that my year as an ambassador will be wrapped up in a couple of short months. This ambassador program has provided so much more than I ever could’ve imagined. I’ll be forever thankful for having someone like Nicole in my life and for her brilliant mind for coming up with this program.
One of the things that stands out the most that I’ve benefited from is losing the constant need to compare. The first ambassador shoot was a whirlwind of triumphs and realizations. 5 strangers (basically) meeting up in nature to have intimate photos taken. Which now to me sounds like a damn good time lol, but I was hesitant that first day. Could I really get in the zone around other people other than Nicole, and have multiple wardrobe changes? The short answer is yes. The long answer is it took a lot of courage for us all to take these steps, and it was really beautiful to be THAT vulnerable around others. When you’re in a setting like that it’s imperative to learn boundaries for your own thought process otherwise thoughts of comparison creep in. I didn’t fully learn this lesson until a couple of group sessions later, but the first one helped me realize I have a tendency to do this. And as always it’s a work in progress. The wonderful Kelly has a beautiful post about “comparison being the thief of joy” that I highly recommend reading. I find myself still reciting that phrase when I find myself comparing. At the end of the day we all have a purpose in this program and all bring different strengths to the table, and there’s no point in wasting your time comparing all the little details. A life lesson I will carry with me forever.
This program has helped me form new friendships I didn’t even know I needed. As well as make some memories I’ll cherish for a lifetime. We’ve formed a safe space within this group, that shouldn’t be taken for granted.
Outside of the group, this has created some really awesome conversations about the status quo of beauty, self-love, and body positivity. I’ve never wanted to identify as a ”model”, so to see my photos striking up these types of conversations is one of the best feelings. I’m not doing it for recognition, attention, or likes. I’m doing it to potentially open the door for others that are on the edge of falling in love with themselves but could use the extra push and see how positive intimate photos can be for them! Some might have not taken the leap for official photos yet, but they’ve shared self-portraits and said to have been inspired by me. ME! It still blows my mind and makes me feel so proud of the work I’ve done with Nicole.
Lastly, this program has taught me discipline and that success comes in many different strides. Everything I said above was a win for me and women alike. I had to show up for this, and continue showing up. Something I hadn’t really had in my life since being in school. I’m thankful for the structure this has brought back into my life, and all the little and big lessons learned along the way.
Cheers to hanging with it, learning to not compare every detail, friendships, and being a vulnerable human.
Miss A.
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